(no subject)

[herzverstreut_bu]

This is just something I was thinking about while browsing the flist, and I realized that I know about most, but not nearly all of you. So for future reference, please tell me:

[Poll #1239184]

For those who are as "awake" as I am right now: This is about how you want people to refer to you, not about the sound of them or anything. Just in case that wasn't clear. And I chose checkboxes in case anyone is comfortable with more than one, but please just check those that you really want people (i.e. me) to use when referring to you.

For clarification regarding myself, I'd really like to try and get people to use ze/hir, but I'm pretty much fine with both male and female pronouns as well. ETA: Just for those who are not familiar with them: There is (or seems to be) a growing desire for at least a third pronoun for those who don't identify as one traditional gender, or for situations where the gender identity of a person is not know. The problem, of course, is that there is no real tradition for such a pronoun in the English language (other than "they", which can be kind of problematic), and creating a new one will inevitably be difficult. I've seen dozens of variations proposed, but the ones that seem to be most prevalent these days are ze/hir or zie/hir (sometimes sie/hir) - the latter is problematic for me personally, because "sie" means "she" and "they" in German. I've never heard any gender-neutral pronoun used in spoken language (that might have to do with not speaking English in everyday life), and certainly not in any "mainstream" context, but it would be awesome if we could get there at some point. Until then I think we all should try to find out which pronoun, be it traditional or new, someone prefers and address them accordingly. END OF PSA.

(P.S. I really wish there was any kind of gender-neutral pronoun in German, but there is none. We don't even have something like "they", we just tend to default to masculine pronouns instead. I personally don't mind, and I've been thinking about getting people to refer to me in the masculine form in general, but it's not even really considered p.c. anymore. DO SOMETHING, GERMANY.)

Wow, I've had one (ONE!) call in 35 minutes. I hope this is a reward for the stressful last week and not the calm before the storm.

Comments

[sinuous-curve.livejournal.com]

When it comes to gender, I'm kind of at the point where fucked if I have any idea what I am, but I'm most used to responding to she/her, so that's what I checked, but I really, really like ze/hir, so I checked that as well.

Really, though, I'm very hard to offend. :)

[scatterheart.livejournal.com]

I'm kind of at the point where fucked if I have any idea what I am, but I'm most used to responding to she/her
Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm at a point where I really don't identify as female anymore, but since there's no applicable pronoun anyway, I'm way too lazy to try and get others to change the way they refer to me. *kinda fails at genderfuck*

Really, though, I'm very hard to offend. :)
That's good to know! :)

[sinuous-curve.livejournal.com]

I'm way too lazy to try and get others to change the way they refer to me.

Exactly. Plus, if you make that announcement to the world, "I'm not a girl," the inevitable next question is, "Well, then what are you?" And I don't really know at this point. Not anything that really has a good pronoun. :) Plus, like you said, I'm just lazy and don't want to spend twenty minutes having a conversation about gender and sexuality with every person I meet. I can roll with female pronouns, at least for the time being.

[scatterheart.livejournal.com]

Plus, if you make that announcement to the world, "I'm not a girl," the inevitable next question is, "Well, then what are you?"
Very good point! People don't seem to understand that you don't have to look like or even identify as the "opposite gender" if your identity isn't the same as you biological gender.

Or what I personally get a lot is "*look at boobs* *look at skirt* Yeah, right. *laugh*" I probably shouldn't blame them, but seriously. Just respect a person's identity and trust that I know who I am better than you do, damnit.

I'm just lazy and don't want to spend twenty minutes having a conversation about gender and sexuality with every person I meet.
!!!!!!!

[sinuous-curve.livejournal.com]

"*look at boobs* *look at skirt* Yeah, right. *laugh*"

Oh yeah, I get that too. I am, shall we say, very much on the curvaceous side and people tend to snort and give me the, "Yeah, okay." There seems to be this weird perception among a lot of people that, to have alternative gender identity, you have to reflect it in your physical appearance. Which is weird to me.

[scatterheart.livejournal.com]

It IS weird. Understandable, maybe, if you think of how deeply ingrained binary gender is in our everyday life, but still weird. I've said it before, but if you feel like a guy, dressing like a girl is just as gender-bending as cutting your hair and going all butch. Not to mention that if you're curvy, you're pretty much fucked in the androgyny department anyway, and I'd rather look good in a skirt than shitty in, idk, baggy jeans. You know?